


A Vanilla-Scented Hankie & A Love Letter

by NovaRawr



Category: Homestuck
Genre: I don't know, M/M, Sexual Themes, mentions of two boys doing the frickle frackle, underage?, we didn't really have set ages here pff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-03
Updated: 2014-11-03
Packaged: 2018-02-24 00:14:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2560964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NovaRawr/pseuds/NovaRawr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alternatively Titled: The log that happened before John fricked Dave into the sofa</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Vanilla-Scented Hankie & A Love Letter

**Author's Note:**

> This is really just a kind of silly rp that I decided to put on here, in which I played the John. Exchanging of the tumblrs and any ooc comments were cut out. If anybody wants to write what happened after thiiiissss.. I'd be reeaaaalllyy happy! ;33

\-- ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 14:27 --

EB: hey there stridork.  
TG: yeah  
TG: salutations and all that junk  
TG: egbrat  
EB: oh wow, you're so nice dave.  
EB: brat?  
EB: low blow.  
TG: maybe if you werent a giant i wouldnt need to kick your shins  
EB: i'm not a giant!  
EB: you're just adorably tiny~  
TG: have you even seen yourself  
TG: dont tell me you havent been in a body mirror before buddy  
TG: i am definitely not as "adorably tiny"  
TG: as you are a big skyscraper of a human being  
EB: aha, actually i haven't. nobody i know owns a full-body mirror.  
EB: but let's just agree to disagree.  
TG: aight cool i can dig it  
TG: but not the part about lacking a full body mirror  
TG: those are essential  
EB: awesome, but really you actually have one?  
TG: i do  
EB: isn't that a little bit sad, dave?  
TG: what no  
EB: can a regular mirror not hold your ego?  
TG: fuck you  
TG: i breathe for my body mirror k  
TG: you dont know how much i need that thing  
EB: bet you'd like it to be the other way around winkwonk  
EB: but fine, fine  
TG: huh  
TG: what was that lil comment there  
TG: buster  
EB: just sayin..  
EB: i know how hard it's gotta be for you to resist me.  
TG: oh yeah its really tough buddy  
TG: i dont know how i persevere  
EB: i know, i mean to be faced with my imminent sexiness all the time.  
EB: i wonder how you cope.  
TG: dude no i definitely cant manage with you hanging around  
TG: every time i get a whiff of your perfume i melt  
TG: youre so goddamned flawless  
TG: its like you belong on the roof of a gothic cathedral  
EB: it's not perfume it's cologne!  
EB: but thank you.  
TG: is it old spice  
EB: ..possibly.  
EB: but that's not the point!  
TG: oh my god  
EB: shut up!  
EB: get back to me bringing sexyback.  
TG: anyway yeah youre the epitome of hot  
EB: how hot am i dave?  
TG: sooooo hot  
TG: i get sunburn whenever im around you  
EB: well of course, you're pale as heck.  
EB: but it's pretty so it's cool.  
EB: carry on.  
TG: wait what  
TG: my skins pretty  
TG: gosh  
TG: john youre such a charmer  
EB: yeah, plus your freckles are absolutely adorable.  
EB: thought you should know that.  
EB: i could probably go on for a while about everything else about you, but i'm not gonna do that.  
EB: because then you'll think i'm weird...er.  
TG: you couldnt possibly get weirder but  
TG: if it frosts your cookies then i guess i wont push for more flattery  
EB: so you want more flattery?  
EB: i'll be happy to give it~  
TG: not to imply that im an attention whore or anything  
TG: if you keep this up then ill be handing over a vanilla-scented hankie  
TG: and a love letter  
EB: then keep it up is what i shall do.  
EB: better get started writing that letter.  
TG: ive already got the first para in mind  
EB: awesome.  
EB: you know you have really nice hair as well? do you have, like, apple-scented shampoo or something because that's what you always smell like, and it's really nice.  
EB: plus it looks so soft, like i could just sit and run my hand through it happily for a long while.  
EB: it'd just be so relaxing.  
TG: huh  
TG: ok yeah cool  
TG: ill keep it up  
TG: my hair isnt the easiest thing to manage but if maintaining it guarantees what you mentioned  
TG: clearly i should oblige here  
EB: yes, you should.  
EB: but i'm glad you'll keep it up then.  
TG: for the record  
TG: i like your hair too  
TG: but i would probably put more effort into brushing it than givin you a scalp massage  
TG: thats a trainwreck  
EB: aww, thanks for liking my bird's nest, i guess. ha ha.  
TG: arent i sweet  
EB: just the sweetest little cutie there is  
TG: dont fuck with me john  
TG: this sweet little cutie is serious  
EB: hmm?  
EB: so is this 'epitome of hot'.  
EB: serious business here dave.  
TG: what yes  
TG: i mean what i say  
TG: and i say what i mean  
TG: have i ever lied to you  
TG: i think not  
EB: a couple of times but i think i'll pretend you haven't for now.  
TG: what  
TG: well  
TG: ok yeah  
TG: possibly  
EB: mhmm  
EB: but seriously now  
EB: can i be expecting a love letter any time soon from my sweet little cutie?  
TG: yeah  
TG: of course  
EB: great!  
EB: i'll be waiting.  
TG: should i slip it into the corner of your totally not full body mirror  
TG: or put it under your pillow  
TG: place it in a box of chocolates  
EB: whatever you want babe, think to your cheesy heart's content.  
TG: awww  
TG: ill make you pine alright  
EB: great.  
TG: <3  
EB: <3

\-- ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 14:58 --

EB: all right you got that letter done yet strider?  
EB: hehe.  
TG: nearly  
TG: stop gigglin you geek  
EB: i'm not giggling.  
EB: nope.  
EB: manly chuckling.  
EB: ha ha ha!  
EB: see?  
TG: haha yeah ok buddy  
TG: thats really manly  
TG: i think i felt the deep tone from here  
EB: shush, you totally did.  
EB: my manly voice could explode your non-existent ovaries.  
TG: not while im typing up a love letter dude i need to finish this  
TG: its of the utmost importance  
TG: but perhaps afterward  
EB: okay sweetheart, you finish up that letter.  
TG: aight i think im finished  
EB: ooohh awesome!  
TG: see but now im hesitating  
EB: aww why?  
TG: alright alright  
TG: i think i can  
TG: you ready for this kid  
TG: its pretty damn long for what was meant to be a tiny love letter  
EB: oh wow, okay.  
EB: let's do this shit.  
EB: i'm ever so ready.  
TG: k but youve gotta stay hushed until im done  
TG: no words  
EB: all right.  
EB: no words.  
EB: go!  
TG: dear johnny  
TG: i saw you at school today  
TG: were you looking at me???? i thought i saw you staring but  
TG: that would be too good to be true wouldnt it  
TG: you were watching sally, i know it  
TG: sigh  
TG: sometimes i wish theyd be lookin at me  
TG: your eyes, that is  
TG: fuck your eyes are so pretty  
TG: not handsome. pretty  
TG: shape-wise and color-wise theyre nicer than anything ive ever seen on a chick  
TG: they arent two souped up diamonds either  
TG: diamonds can take it up the ass for all i care  
TG: no, no your eyes are like a shitty overly-bright text color that i could spot from a mile away  
TG: something obnoxious that a troll would spam all over my blog  
TG: i adore it and you havent the slightest clue  
TG: your big ol black-rimmed glasses amplify them threefold and i just cant handle it when you look at me  
TG: my cheeks get rosy and my tummys queasy  
TG: swoon  
TG: i nearly cream my panties every time dude  
TG: with skinny jeans on i just cant afford that type of mishap  
TG: do you understand what im saying here  
TG: it isnt a lusty look though its more of a "youre a total moron bro" signature stare feat. a "how dumb can you get" eyeroll  
TG: but i take what i can get yknow  
TG: maybe its the fact that you are actually paying attention to me that i eat up instead  
TG: you know that i was always one of those attention-cravin kids in middle school  
TG: i like to get up to the chalk board and write compliments for the teacher  
TG: take off my shoes in class and put my legs on the desk like i own the place  
TG: throw paper balls and my uber expensive pens at you  
TG: idk  
TG: dont even get me started on your button nose that i wanna lean up n smooch a whole bunch or your lips either  
TG: its weird but sometimes when theyre chapped i just wanna see em all plump and red and glistening  
TG: like post-makeout state  
TG: instead i offer you some cherry chapstick and we go on about our days like i was never starin at your mouth  
TG: getting you out on a date would be really nice too  
TG: i would take you to olive garden in a tux  
TG: ask for a kids menu so we can play tick-tack-toe  
TG: we can order wine and split spaghetti and suck it up like were two mutts in a disney movie  
TG: or chuck-e-cheese, then i could show you exactly how to cheat some of the games  
TG: i swear im the dance dance revolution champion  
TG: id buy you and me a plethora of dumb friendship bracelets n a fuckton of whoopee cushions  
TG: pretend that when i sit on them that BOY YOU GOT ME EGBERT  
TG: how about a fair where id feed you fuckin funnel cakes  
TG: some powder on your mouth? no biggie bro ive gotcha covered  
TG: kissing on the ferris wheel  
TG: if not there then in the picture booth instead where nobody can see how we touch  
TG: dare you to go on a bunch of stupid nauseating rides too  
TG: bet you cant conquer the ring of fire nerd ha ha  
TG: just whatever???? i like to imagine it would be enjoyable  
TG: waking up to you in the morning with me  
TG: we dont have to be cuddled up like two hibernating bears thats just a plus  
TG: all i need to see is your lovely face and your bedhead  
TG: all i need to smell is you  
TG: kiss you good morning and make you french toast  
TG: maybe ill bring it to you in bed with orange juice bc im the best housewife on the block  
TG: k this is about where i wrapped it up so  
TG: fin  
EB: ...wow  
TG: uh  
EB: dave that was so adorable you have no idea.  
EB: holy shit.  
TG: yeah i guess thanks  
TG: that was beyond embarrassing to write but at least i got it into words  
TG: and not incoherent blabbering  
EB: it was just..  
EB: wow.  
TG: cool  
EB: i wanna hug the shit out of you right now.  
EB: so i could just, like, cuddle you like a teddy bear and you wouldn't mind?  
TG: no nope truly wouldnt oppose  
TG: not a peep out of me  
TG: i wont even squirm around like a worm  
TG: as a matter of fact id beg for you to cuddle me like a teddy bear  
EB: hmmm... oh really dave?  
EB: what else would you beg for?  
EB: heh..  
TG: do you really wanna know  
EB: yes.  
EB: not to sound too enthusiastic or anything.  
EB: but god yes.  
TG: hmmm  
TG: excuse my french but  
TG: you know what id beg for  
TG: id beg for you get me naked and to pin me against the bed  
TG: crush your lips against mine and just  
TG: god  
TG: just give it to me  
EB: ..well.  
EB: ahem.  
EB: that's certainly..  
EB: something.  
TG: whoops  
TG: hand slipped  
EB: yeah.  
EB: hey dave?  
EB: when are you free next?  
TG: soon  
TG: really soon  
EB: how soon is really soon?  
TG: starting now until forever  
EB: okay, and during that free time, would you care to pay your bro john a visit?  
EB: a rather long visit?  
TG: ah i suppose i could pay him a visit in town  
TG: id be stocking up my covered wagon anyhow  
EB: suppose?  
TG: suppose  
EB: okay what do i have to promise you to get you over here asap?  
EB: freshly baked apple pie?  
TG: maybe  
TG: do you have hot pockets  
EB: hot pockets, pie, a couple bags of doritos and a blowjob.  
EB: cutting to the chase here man.  
EB: what do you say?  
EB: plus i won't make you watch con air.  
TG: aight dude im in totally in  
TG: the con air part sealed the deal  
EB: aha, awesome!  
EB: get your cute little butt over here strider!  
TG: did you spritz on the old spice for me  
EB: sure.  
TG: just making sure  
TG: shits vital  
TG: omw

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] \--

EB: see you soon hun! x

\-- ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] \--


End file.
